the trees are green
the sky is blue
we walked for so long
but I am wearing a wrong shoe
i have a blister
yet I am enjoying this time with you
-L & A
Category: Like poem
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time
-
how everything goes in vain
how quickly everything goes in vain
the dreams we work towards
the life we build
the relationship we treasure
the joy we share
the knowledge we gain
the experience we gather
the unique stories we hold
everything that means the world to us is lost instantaneously
the smile disappears, friendship corrupt
blinded by power and greed, driven by an illusion
and it all too quickly goes in vain
why is life worth it?
for the hope that never dies?
for true words that stand up and ignite awareness?
for the enduring desire to be the change and keep living
for friendship initiated solely to live together in harmony
with all the mess that comes with being a human living in a society,
not to repeat the same mistakes, but to make new mistakes
and repeat the same?
ask again, how everything goes in vain…–AP
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कस्तो कस्तो यो जिन्दगी
कस्तो कस्तो यो जिन्दगी
आफ्नै बाटोमा हिड्दा हिड्दै हराएको जस्तो
पूर्ण संवाद पनि अपुरो जस्तो
हाँस्दा हाँस्दै आँसु झर्ने जस्तोबुझ्दा बुझ्दै नबुझिने जस्तो
मिल्दा मिल्दै साथ छाडिने जस्तो
सङ्गाल्दा सङ्गाल्दै चेट भएको चङ्गा जस्तोइच्छा र आशाले तानि रहेको जस्तो
विकल्पहरूको सीमानामा उभिएको जस्तो
छिन्-छिन्मा बद्लिने मौसम जस्तो ।अनिश्चितता छ त, बाँचिरएको जस्तो
अन्योल मै अर्थ लुकेको जस्तो
(के अरु केहि औचित्य छ ?)
मुस्कुराउँदै हिडी रहुँ जस्तोमुस्कुराउँदै हिडी रहुँ जस्तो
कस्तो कस्तो यो जिन्दगी…यो टाईप गर्दा गर्दै मलाई शंकर लामिछानेको निबन्ध ‘देउताको काम’ को अन्तिमका केहि सोच (वाक्यहरु) याद आए। –
“यो सब भएन र पो !
यो सब गरिन (वा गर्न सकिन !) र पो ।
आज, वहियात कुराले पनि छुन्छ । अरुलाई गरिएको, अरुले जवफ दिएको प्रश्नोत्तरले पनि छुन्छ । र …।
यसरी छोइने भएर नै आशा लाग्छ, स्पन्दन छ कता कता कता ! … कता कता केही धुकधुकी बाँकी छ सायद यही छ ‘देउताको काम’ हो कि म भित्र शेष रहन गएको ? जीवनप्रतिको सच्चा चाहनाको यो ढुकढुकी …। यसको जवाब भविष्यले सायद भन्ला …। “
शंकर लामिछाने. 1967. एब्स्ट्रयाक्ट चिन्तन्: प्यज, देउताको काम -
Wednesday’s Madness
it is one that risides deep within
that rises to the surface or crawls in
the creaking bones and non-stop raining
my pillows wet and my sweaty skin
i try to divert, but is me, my own jinn
it covers me with thoughts that don’t exist
the madness, the cry, the anxiousness, I can’t resist
my trueself, still try to coexist
get out of this room, it insists
the blue sky, the tree, the fresh air, you just need to breath
what is the point of this? What is the cause of this?
I, my greatest obstruction, just let go, release
oh my dear, slowly-slowly you will find peace
the hardship, the responsibility, the act of being, face it with an ease
find joy in the journey, as someday all of this will cease
All of this will cease…-AP
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Thoughts
I look at myself this standing flesh like every other
Some days thats all I am and all want to be
But, there are other days when my conscience is bothered
Where in my body that ought to be
The wound on my leg
I can heal it with an ointment
But this agitation that resides somewhere inside of me
I don’t seem to find any solution
May be the problem is in the search of solution
As that defines my situation as a problem
So, what can I do with this knowledge of myself?
Rather than supressing it and being in an illusion -
Do you feel this way?
I see the old pictures
The fun time we spent together
They are all gone
And I am not saying I need you or I want you
Yet, I cannot fathom what set us apart
I want to apologise even for the mistakes I didn’t make
Just for the laughter that I can have with you again
I felt like we were friends for life
But our friendship was uncertain like life
My mind tells me that the person in the image in not her
And tells me the person in the image is not me
“Yet I feel close to both of them”
I can’t even tell you I miss you
Because that would be shame
I would be called weak and without self-respect
But I know I was friends with you just for being friends
Spend time with you just for spending time with you
And loved you just for loving you
It was not the aim to fulfill something I lacked
But soley to have a friend
Do you feel this way?
~A
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A tree
She stand here just to fall someday
She rises and grows
Everytime she does,
She is a little more wiser and still
She knows it all
The loudness and joy of child’s birth
The solitude and sorrow of death
And a brief state of bewilderment that connects them both
Generation passed
Eras ended
She still stands
As upright as she can
As strong as she can
Her eternal loyalty to the ground
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चरा
उडी रहने चरा
कहिले बादल माथी
त कहिले बादल तल
कहिले चर्को घाममा
त कहिले झम्झम दर्किएको वर्षा
कहिले रतको अंधकारमा
त कहिले दिनको आंखा खाने उज्यालो
त्यै पनि उडीरहन्छ चरा
आफ्नो गन्तव्यलाई साँची
यही थाहा पाउन कि फेरी
उसले अर्को गन्तव्य साँच्नु पर्छ
अर्को आकांक्षा बोक्नु पर्छ
अर्को उडान भर्नु पर्छ
उडी रहनु पर्छ -
यस्तो अथाह माया के का लागि ?
साम्झिन्छु मन कुट्टुकै खान्छ
रुन खोज्छु आँखामा आँसु छैन
बोल्न खोज्छु बोल्न बाँकि के हि छैन
बिसाउन खोज्छु बस्न मान्दैन मेरो मन
यस्तो अथाह माया के का लागि ?मनले हो कि तनले हो
गम्भिरतामा हो कि बेवसिमा हो
शाररिक हो कि आत्मिक हो
यस्तो अथाह माया के का लागि ?बिर्सिन खोज्छु बिर्सिन मान्दैन मेरो मन
मार्न खोज्छु मर्न मान्दैन मेरो मन
बागाउन खोज्छु, बगेर फेरि फर्किन्छ मेरो मन
यस्तो अथाह माया के का लागि ?सोच्छु कसरि बाँचि रहेको छु यति पिडामा
आँखा खोल्छु, समाल्छु आफुलाई
अनि आफ्नो प्रश्नको आफै उत्तर दिदै भन्छु-
“यस्तो अथाह माया मायाकै लगि”यस्तो माया जसमा गुमाउने केहि डर छैन
यस्तो माया गर्नु मायाको केहि गल्ति हुदैन
तर, यस्तो माया जसले मेरो माया कहिले फर्काउदैन
पिडाको कारण पनि बन्दैन
यस्तो माया अनन्त हुन्छ
यस्तो मायाका लागि नै अथाह माया हुँदो रहेछ।-ap
Written Date: August 4th 2020
Credit: This writing is based on the things that I learned from the podcast “Philosophize This.” This podcast has helped me unfold little mysteries about myself. Thank you!
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Pray
Oh Beautiful souls we pray for you
Even the ill souls we pray for you
Why so much hate we show
Please spread some kindness I plead to you
My heart sinks to the unnatural news I hear
Am I supposed to know how to bear?
Please show some respect to your fellow earthlings
Forget not, unity is what brought us here
Me, you, we, and us the society I implore
Understand that there is so much to explore
Heal the souls at the birth of illness
Love and support can help sick hearts to restore
After all we do, we can say the universe does what’s best for us!
What can I say?
All my love and prays to all the lives that were lost to ill souls
~AP
souvenir 