One night of a college student

A spacious room features an unusually large window facing east, with two beds on either side. One bed is positioned right next to the window, accompanied by a table and chair facing outward. The other table is situated between two beds on the north side, with a rocking chair. Two college students, Kaya and Naz, inhabit this room. An open laptop on the table facing the window displays a homework assignment, as if someone is in the midst of working. There’s an open pen on the table. The only source of light in the room comes from the study lamp on the table facing the window and the ambient light outside. The window is wide open, and “Gnossienne: No. 1” softly plays in the room, occasionally accompanied by the sound of sobbing.

The bed closer to the door on the west appears unused, with neatly layered blankets and precisely placed seven pillows, suggesting no one has slept there for a long time. The layered blankets also hold a pile of clothes. The half of the room towards the window is adorned with numerous motivational quotes taped to the wall, all centered around themes of achieving success through hard work, dedication, sacrifice, love for school, and perseverance. The abundance of quotes almost feels like a distraction from one’s true self rather than inspiration, steering them away from authenticity and towards an ideal pasted on the wall.

Naz is seated in the corner of the room next to her table, her head down and tucked between her legs. The force with which she wraps herself seems capable of turning her into a black hole or causing her to vanish. She raises her head, gazing at a picture frame beside her, featuring a man and a woman holding a little girl in a jeans jumper. Next to her is a notebook with a vibrant peacock on the hardcover. She opens the notebook to the page where she left her pen, reading the words in black ink, “I just want everything to stop. Just freeze. Stop.” She takes the black pen, aggressively scratches out the words, sighs, and drops the notebook and pen on the floor. Slowly getting up with the picture, she places it next to the lamp on her table, facing towards the chair, and sits down. Staring at the laptop screen, her phone beside it, and her notebook on the table with the pen without the lid, tears start falling again. She takes the pen without the lid, puts the lid back on, and places it next to her phone. She puts her head down on the table.

The lamp on her table starts flickering and goes off. Her laptop, cellphone, and iPad all shut down, as if all the energy has been drained. Suddenly, a strong ray of light enters the room through a small space between the blinds. She gets up in the dark room, unable to discern where she is walking, but moves toward the light. As she approaches the light, it dims, slowly dissolving into the background. Desperately trying to catch the dissolving light, she moves the blinds aside to let it all in, only to find complete darkness. There is not a single light source, not in her room, nor outside. It is pitch black. She stands there for some time, slowly sinking into the darkness. She hears a hubbub, as if every single person on the planet has started talking.

“What is going on?”

“Are you okay?”

“Did the power go out for you too?”

“I don’t have it either.”

After some time, the hubbub stops. She lets go of her body and lies down. The only sound is the sound of her inhale and exhale. The world is filled with a silence that is almost painful, yet she has a smile on her face.

Suddenly, the door opens. It’s Kaya.

“Naz, wake up!”

“Naz?”

Naz lifts her head off her table and looks bewilderedly at Kaya.

“Did you fall asleep while studying again?”

Naz looks at her Casio watch on her right wrist; it is 3 am in the morning.

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